No Crazy for Me Today!

Myself, Cindy and Ariel often sit outside the main entrance of the hospital on concrete steps. Firstly, because the cafeteria smells like shit and secondly, because the Canteen only sells Food Poisoning. The psychiatric patients on the second floor often look down at us sitting in the freedom and tend to take a liking to me and wave at me constantly.

I kept seeing the same patient for a couple of weeks. He would wave at me every time he saw me and he would gesture over and over that I must come up and visit him. No thanks, not ready to be murdered today! I haven't seen him in a while. Maybe he was discharged. Or paralysed by a tazer or all the anti-crazy pills. Or sitting outside my bedroom window right now, watching me.

The Psychiatric Ward is very interesting and very scary. Rebecca and I would often sit outside the Psych Ward during a tea break. We would sit watching the patients walking around expressionless, take photos, prod at them with a pole.. That sort of thing.

These patients often try to escape through a locked gate (get the logic in that?) but this doesn't turn out well because security guards beat them down with batons. If the patients aren't running at the gate like a battering ram, they are running up and down the corridors with security guards chasing after them. Those bitches are fast.

Once, I had to enter the ward ON MY FREAKING OWN. I walk in and a big, sweaty man runs straight up to me, introduces himself and gives me the biggest hug. He smells like baby vomit. He then grabs my hand and gives me a tour of the place. "This is where we eat, this is where we get tazered, this is where we can smoke, this is where the elephants eat the pineapples.." I'm pretty sure I had a couple tears running down my face at this stage. All I could think was "I don't want to dieeeee!". I eventually got away from baby vomit guy and walked towards the nurses station. The really crazy patients are locked in their rooms behind bars and all you hear is simultaneous screaming and laughter.

I think I need to be admitted there after that experience.